Being Good at Stuff

Climbing kids (let's call kids anyone younger than 10) are one of my favorite things about climbing at the gym.  Kids try so hard, seem so fearless, and look like they're having the most fun.  The other day I overheard one of these kids say "Dad, I like climbing, I'm really good at this."  I was tickled by that statement, it sounded like he was having a great time.  Then I got to thinking about the last time I thought "Hey, this is awesome and I'm good at it."  And it's been a long time.

The more I analyzed my thought patterns when I'm struggling, or even when I'm cruising, I realized just how negative and un-enjoyable my thinking is.  Which got me to thinking about samskaras, the current expression of past karmic tendencies, imprints and patterns.  Samskaras can be changing constantly, if we pay attention to them, because our current thoughts build future habits.  [A quote from this article I really like: "Sow a thought, reap a habit.  Sow a habit, reap a character.  Sow a character, reap a destiny."]  With that in mind, I think one of the best ways to recapture the fun I've had climbing is to identify the bad samskaras I have and try to build new ones.  Most often, these bad thought habits are manifested in the songs stuck in my head, which I have decided to illustrate here (along with an explanation of the silly climbing jargon they come along with).

Bad Thought - I can't clip off that sloper.
A sloper is a hold or rock that is more rounded than edgy.  The grip required to hold onto slopers feels weaker and less secure than for edgier ("crimpy") holds.  Clipping is the process of clipping a rope through a caribiner that has been clipped to the wall/rock face, protecting you from hitting the ground during a fall.  Clipping, especially from sloping hand holds, is the scariest part of a climb for me.  Being scared leads to a lot of climbing up one foot, then down one foot, then figdeting...  It's a lot of wasted energy, and the whole time I have a Taylor Swift song stuck in my head.  Ridiculous.

Bad Thought Song -  
(Just hear "clipping off that sloper" instead of "getting back together."  It's totally what happens in my head.)

New Thought - What is the best position to clip from?  Should I climb higher?
There are two things I can do when I get scared like that.  Put on a brave face and trust the hold I don't like, or keep that brave face on and climb until I get to something I do like.  Either of these options requires the ability to keep thinking, even when scared, and breathing evenly is a key part of this.  Thankfully, I really enjoy the Ingrid Michaelson song below this, so I can remember to breathe.

Good Thoughts Song - 

Unproductive Thought - This ledge I'm standing on is the most beautiful ledge I've ever stood on, I will not move from it.
Ledges, which I'll call anything wider than four inches, feel very safe.  Unfortunately, that brief period of feeling extra safe can leave me too petrified to move on up.  The longer I stand on the ledge, the more tired my legs get, so they start shaking.  Then my brain starts to become exhausted and defaults to playing Lady Gaga over and over.  I love Lady Gaga, but the portion of "Edge of Glory" that gets stuck in my head is Gaga at her most repetitive   It's not productive.  And while no one can hear the song in my head, everyone can see my shake-leg, and they always mock me.

Unproductive Tune - 

More Productive Thought - This beautiful ledge is an excellent place to rest, but I should move on before I tire myself out.
Resting is an important part of climbing, but I think if you don't move past your resting spot it's considered quitting.  From what I remember of moving past "secure" places, the air feels fresher and the views seem clearer once I move past the fear.  So that's what I'll try doing.

A Song for Climbing Higher - 

Negative Thinking - I will fall (and die) if I have to make a dynamic move.  
A dynamic move is one where at least one limb does not maintain contact with the climbing wall; lunging, leaping, and jumping are all dynamic moves, and they're scary.  When stuck in the tunnel vision of fear, everything below me looks a million feet away, and the stuff above doesn't look that close either.  With these mis-perceptions, I can't properly assess the risk of making a move.

A (Beautiful) Song for Negative Thinking - 

Positive (and Realistic) Thinking - With a couple of shifts and a dynamic move, I can get that hold.  I could fall making this move, but my belayer will catch me. 
Accepting that you may fall is a critical step in lead climbing, and one I need to remember most often.  Chances are, if I'm making a dynamic move in the gym, I can make it.

However, falling in the gym isn't that bad (falling outside is slightly riskier, but not bad at all if you do it safely).  In fact, taking a fall or two can be a good reminder that my belayer will catch me and all will be well.  

The Song that Makes Me Happiest - 

Hmm.  Well, after drawing that out, I feel much better.  Here's to feeling good at that thing you're good at!

[On another subject, I thought buying a package of rainbow colored pens was a frivolous and childish thing to do.  But turns out it was the best idea I've had all semester.]