An epic poem to describe how I faced my fears on Tuesday. Epic like "The Odyssey" and "Beowulf."
I love office supplies. They make me happy. And they do useful things.
I do not love electric office supplies. They are scary. Nay, they are not to be trusted. Electric staplers, electric pencil sharpeners. There is no need for them.
Tuesday I had to staple 140 documents. And I couldn't find the regular stapler. And I didn't want to ruin my hands stapling.
I had to make friends with the Panasonic Electric Stapler. I only flinched for the few 20 staples. I even learned how to refill it's staples. (I fed the little office demon)
Then it over-heated. I waited. I decided that I still like plain staplers best. They don't overheat. And you have to be a real spaz to accidentally staple your hand with one.
However, I am no longer fearful of electric staplers. Though I remain leery of them.
Electric pencil sharpeners are still on the shit-list. I will never trust them. Use a regular pencil sharpener. Are use a mechanical pencil.
Post-its and pens are still the office supplies I like best. They make the world a better place.
OK, the title is probably a lie. I've had many ridiculous chats in my life, but this one is definitely on the list. I set up internet in my apartment today. I've found this is best done over the internet, but when I was setting everything up, I ran into a $99.99 'professional' installation fee. I tried to avoid clicking on it, but the only other option was to click on the $149.99 'you suck hard' installation fee.
I don't need anything professional done. I just need them to go to the box on the back side of my house and do whatever they do to the cable there. However, I knew that I couldn't get a 'stay out of my house' installation option. No matter how much I tried to avoid clicking on an installation option, they refused to let me pass onto the 'customize' option without clicking something. Dirt bags.
I decided the best way to get some internet in my apartment and avoid paying $100 for a 15 minute visit from the Comcast guy was the ask nicely, through their chatroom option. The first person told me I would pay anywhere between $50 and $100 for installation. While that's still pretty hefty, I can still manage it. In the end, I'm paying $50 for installation, and getting my internet on the 26th, and hopefully it will avoid the Almost-Fail Day I had today.
Here are the snippets from this delightful chat. I almost fell out of my chair, it was so ridiculous.
Roylei(Wed Aug 19 2009 17:41:09 GMT-0600 (Mountain Daylight Time))>
I have great news for you Rebekah!
Rebekah_(Wed Aug 19 2009 15:41:21 GMT-0600 (Mountain Daylight Time))>
Oh, yeah?
Roylei(Wed Aug 19 2009 17:41:50 GMT-0600 (Mountain Daylight Time))>
I just gave you a$40.00 discount in your install fee.
Roylei(Wed Aug 19 2009 17:42:13 GMT-0600 (Mountain Daylight Time))>
You will just pay $50.00 for installation.
Rebekah_(Wed Aug 19 2009 15:42:24 GMT-0600 (Mountain Daylight Time))>
That is great news.
Roylei(Wed Aug 19 2009 17:42:33 GMT-0600 (Mountain Daylight Time))>
It is!
Roylei(Wed Aug 19 2009 17:42:44 GMT-0600 (Mountain Daylight Time))>
I will now schedule your installation.
I also enjoyed this portion of it, because it's so polite:
Roylei(Wed Aug 19 2009 17:35:39 GMT-0600 (Mountain Daylight Time))>
Thank you.
Roylei(Wed Aug 19 2009 17:35:44 GMT-0600 (Mountain Daylight Time))>
I am now making your account.
Roylei(Wed Aug 19 2009 17:36:37 GMT-0600 (Mountain Daylight Time))>
Thank you for patiently waiting.
Roylei(Wed Aug 19 2009 17:36:39 GMT-0600 (Mountain Daylight Time))>
I am going to process your order now. Please give me a moment to process this for you and thank you.
Roylei(Wed Aug 19 2009 17:36:59 GMT-0600 (Mountain Daylight Time))>
I understand you already have a modem with you? Is that correct?
And, of course, there was the sales pitch. I just feel bad for them when they have to ask, because I remember having to do that when I worked for Qwest. I cringed everytime, because I was afraid the person on the other end was going to tell me to pull my head out of my ass again.
Roylei(Wed Aug 19 2009 17:37:56 GMT-0600 (Mountain Daylight Time))>
Rebekah, I see here that you are eligible for our HD Triple Play Starter for as low as $114.99.That already includes three services; phone, cable and internet service. All three services in just one low price. Do you want me to sign you up for this?
Rebekah_(Wed Aug 19 2009 15:38:11 GMT-0600 (Mountain Daylight Time))>
No, I just want the internet
Roylei(Wed Aug 19 2009 17:38:26 GMT-0600 (Mountain Daylight Time))>
No problem.
But really, I was balking at an installation fee, why would I want all three services for one low price (and who calls $115 cheap?).
Anyways, just wanted to share that, because I was tickled to be a part of it.
(The picture at top is not meant to suggest that I am an African Crowned Crane, nor was the Comcast analyst a crane, I just like those birds, and like having pictures on my blog.)
