An epic poem to describe how I faced my fears on Tuesday. Epic like "The Odyssey" and "Beowulf."
I love office supplies.
They make me happy.
And they do useful things.
I do not love electric office supplies.
They are scary.
Nay, they are not to be trusted.
Electric staplers, electric pencil sharpeners.
There is no need for them.
Tuesday I had to staple 140 documents.
And I couldn't find the regular stapler.
And I didn't want to ruin my hands stapling.
I had to make friends with the Panasonic Electric Stapler.
I only flinched for the few 20 staples.
I even learned how to refill it's staples.
(I fed the little office demon)
Then it over-heated.
I waited.
I decided that I still like plain staplers best.
They don't overheat.
And you have to be a real spaz to accidentally staple your hand with one.
However, I am no longer fearful of electric staplers.
Though I remain leery of them.
Electric pencil sharpeners are still on the shit-list.
I will never trust them.
Use a regular pencil sharpener.
Are use a mechanical pencil.
Post-its and pens are still the office supplies I like best.
They make the world a better place.
3 comments:
There are many fears I need to conquer. I tried to conquer my fear of opening tubes of crescent rolls tonight, FAIL. I still cannot bravely twist or bang on the tube. I look away waiting for the "pop" and cannot stop flinching as I push on the seam with a spoon. I am not as big a fan of office supplies as you and auntie boo. Every electric officer supply in the teacher workroom hates me...so I hate them back.
I have raised you well my child! Bravo on conquering a fear. The world of office supplies brings a smile to my face also! :) Part of my job at work now is doing all of the laminating for the teachers. I keep thinking how cool it would be to have my own laminating machine and laminate every piece of paper I can get my grubby hands on! I AM THE LAMINATOR! (...I'LL BE BACK...)
To bad you couldn't use Lonamae's stapler on her IPOD touch. Ask her about it some time.
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