I have an issue with Yam.

I'm currently having an issue.  Well, not currently.  It's been an issue for more than a year now.  And it is a person (of course it's not you), I'll call them Yam.  And I have to be cryptic about the issue, because it's not cool to bash people on the internets, especially a public internet space like this (but it's totally legit to bash yams).  This leaves me little options for venting, which leads me to believe I should simply get over it, focus on the positive people in my life.  After all, there is an end in sight!

As it stands, every time I communicate with Yam I feel my blood pressure rise and my face flush immediately. 7 times out of 10 I actually cry.  When I mull over it too much I start to feel my stomach roil (in part because I immediately seek a large soda).  And I've found myself exhibiting two really terrible behaviors because of this situation.  First, I can't think of anything good to say about Yam, but instead of staying quiet I complain about everything this person has done.  EVERYTHING.  Things that have no bearing on me.  This is awful.  Second, and perhaps even worse, I loose all sense of life perspective.  My life is actually pretty good, but it the midst of my mental rants (or vocal rants) I forget that I really like my job(s) and boss(es), that I've got a super boyfriend that I really like to be around, that my family is dang rad, and that I've got friends who make me happy.  It just seems ridiculous to be so irritated when I've got so much going for me.

Then today I had an awful realization that I've felt like this before.  Years ago I had this exboyfriend/friend, let's call him Cockatoo, that was kind of poisoning my life.  Well, I was letting him, in part because I felt like I needed him.  This lead me feeling victimized pretty much all the time, super lame.  It took years to realize what was happening, and it was pretty difficult to exclude Cockatoo from my life, but absolutely worthwhile.  So now I'm left trying to figure out how to exclude Yam from my life.  Unfortunately, I literally cannot do so immediately, there's work to be done.  I keep hoping that my desire to be done with this relationship will motivate me to work harder, but it mostly just irritates me.  So, any suggestions on how to deal with this?

Maybe I've just figured it all out, because I feel much better now.   Perhaps discussing the negative people in my life in terms of gross vegetables was the funny thing I've been needing all day.  Anyways, more positive posts to come soon (I swear, I really am trying to bring my blog back from the brink, but I'm busy...)