Becka's No-Good, Very Bad Day.

Friday was one of those days, and it had become completely horrible by 9:00 am.  Really, it had been one of those weeks.  I needed a vacation and had become absolutely irrational.  My life really wasn't all that terrible, I just had no perspective on anything, so little things, like walking to school when I had planned on taking the bus, completely destroyed me.  I suppose temperamental is the right word for it.  Friday morning I made it on time to the bus stop, which was awesome, then the driver told me I couldn't have my coffee on the bus.  I tried to stand up for myself, briefly.  I asked if he was serious (seriously, who would try to make me dump my coffee out?), then I asked if this was a new rule (it was the first I had heard of it, after months of faithful riding).  Then I walked off the bus and hate-walked up the hill to school, through a construction zone hiding mud that went up to the middle of my shin.  That mud did this to my shoes:

Hind sight is a funny thing.  I can look back and see that I was terribly upset about a small thing.  But that mud still doesn't look more than a foot deep.  Instead, the construction zone appears in my mind as a trap.  Not only had they taken out the cement for the sidewalk, but they had blocked off the road, making that seem like a poor choice, too.  And those laughing construction workers certainly didn't help.  I imagine they had seen at least two other people do the same thing as me, wade into the mud (which only became deep halfway between the end of the side walk and the beginning of the next section), curse, and stomp on up the hill.  And that seems funny now, five days later.

Those shoes are really good trail runners, so my feet stayed dry.  And there were muck boots in the lab on campus so I didn't need to track mud around campus.  But then my boss came into our lab today before I had completely composed myself, so I cried in front of her and couldn't really compose myself in time for class.  Then my lab-mates asked me what had happened to my shows, and I began crying again telling them about what had happened.  Somehow, I thought as an adult I wouldn't miss class because my face looked like I'd been crying (though I also never counted on going to class this far into my adulthood).  Eh.  As an adult, I am more able to recognize when I need to take a break.  When I spend half my day crying over muddy shoes, I need a break.  Luckily, Spring Break started that weekend, so I got to spend two days not working on my project, today I'm going to see my family, and this weekend I'll finally get back to Moab!

It seems Spring Break is one of those holidays that gets lost to adulthood.  This year, the combination of weather, illness, and grown-up jobs has lead to the cancellation of Spring Break for my group of friends.  This feels like the end of an era, so I'm nostalgic about the beginning - March 2010, which I've decided to blog about.  I'm also nostalgic for my solitary Spring Breaks, in part because one of my friends is currently on her first solitary Spring Break (awesome!), and partly because I miss feeling that confident.  So I'll blog about that today too.