Friday, September 26, 2008

On a Lighter Note (Mink Are Evil)

I just thought I'd follow up my political manifesto with something fluffier, and something with pictures.

So, there's a mink farm up in Logan that causes so heart ache at the zoo two a year, every year. When the farm moves the mink into cages away from their mothers, then when they make them into pelts several escape, swim up the river and kill birds in the zoo. Here are some fun facts about mink:
  • They are mammals in the Mustelidae family (weasels, ferrets and martens also belong to this family. Their species name is Mustela vison (sounds a bit nefarious, right?)
  • In wild these animals are endangered due to hunting and habitat destruction
  • Mink are very agile in the water and on land (in 'real world' terms, this means they're hard to catch).
  • Mink can be anywhere from 17 to 26 inches long and weigh 1-3 pounds (but it seems no matter their size they can easily squeeze through fences, grates and traps).
  • Mink are carnivores, but dainty carnivores. They will kill a 5 pound bird and then only eat some meat from the head and neck. More than being carnivores they are cold, hardened murders...nay, homicidal lunatics! (Note: I have sources for every fact except this last one, I don't know if you'll be able to find that anywhere but here)
Some of the images that came up on a quick Google image search:
Great, right? So, now that you all know that wild mink are ok, and farm mink are evil (that was the real morale of this tale), you should join my Anti-Mink Task Force. The mission of the AMTF is to eliminate farmed-mink citing in Cache Valley. We envision a future where Becka will not have to patrol for mink at night, where mink won't kill kick-ass birds like Mandarin Ducks or Ferruginous Hawks, and where no one will ever seee a mink crawling through the gutter grates in the fair city of Logan. Membership duties are easy, just spend a few minutes each concentrating on mink hatred, and avoid wearing mink coats, etc (those mink just aren't being pelted fast enough, I guess). There are no membership dues, just as long as you make sure that every day you spend a few minutes with your think face on.
Examples of "Think Face"


So practice hard, and begin enjoying the mental benefits of being part of this truly meaningful movements.

Sincerely,
Becka Downard
Mink Hater

2 comments:

Lovely Lizzy said...

That was funny. Did you hear that they released all the minks at the Kaysville mink place. They just let them go. I'm a little scared. That's not to far away. Maybe mink will invaid Clinton. We don't have cool birds like the zoo, so maybe that won't be so bad.

Marf said...

I currently cannot remove my think face, and it's starting to hurt. Any ideas?