I'm a Runner Now

I love running. Not in the I-love-running-so-much-I-pee-my-pants-for-a-personal-best-type way. I love to run once a week. And I LOVE to race. I don't often win races (but I did win one), I actually aim for the middle. But I find the whole process very nice. And when I keep my running to once a week, I think I feel the full range of mental benefits that I believe come with running (it's as close as I get to meditation). Plus it totally made me Google-able. So, to kick my blog back into working order, here's a run down of the races I've done in the past couple of years, and the bits of wisdom I've gleaned from them (along with a little internal monologue, which probably borders on TMI).

November 26, 2009:

My first race was a 5K Turkey Trot in Twin Falls, ID. I finished it in 31:51, which is alright, but winning in this race required getting as close to your estimated finish time as possible, and I missed that by 4:51. It was pretty chilly that morning (22 degrees F, maybe), and I had not collected my ninja running gear yet, so I was a pretty bulky runner, but it still felt pretty good. Also got the best sweatshirt ever, there aren't enough brown sweatshirts with turkeys on them.

Internal monologue:

Dang, it's cold.

Dang, it's cold.

Oh! Bright blue PBR cap! I'll follow that.

July 17, 2010: Several months later I ran another 5K in Cannonville, UT, and I won it! I finished in 26:34.6, which I didn't think was a winning time, but I didn't realize I was in the old lady division (25-29). I guess it's not that old, and women tend to peak in their running capability later than men, and I was 33rd overall... Anyways, what a pleasant surprise! It was also the first race I ran in my FiveFingers and that was a great success. Unfortunately, the only shoes I brought on that vacation were FiveFingers and Chacos, so I tried (and failed) to reach Mt. Hilliers in FiveFingers. Oh how my feet hurt. I also learned a bit about the importance of pre-race habits: Life cereal is no good. Sleeping in the back of your truck the night before is ok.

Internal monologue:

Wow! It gets hot early here! Why does the sun come up so early?

Why did I eat that cereal? It's only three miles, but I'm running it feels like I'm running with a rock in my stomach, and I think it's making my arms a little numb.

If only I'd peed before I started.

Oh my! That woman looks like she's in terrible pain, I'll never get a boob job.

November 13, 2010: Having clearly mastered the 3.1 mile (5K) length, I decided to run farther, so I opted to do the USU Turkey Trot 10K (which was not on Thanksgiving). I did not prep for this race, I ate poorly the night before and stayed up until 3:00 a.m., that was very humbling. My biggest race goal has always been to finish before someone else, and at this race I only finished before three people. Granted, there were about 30 people in the race, so there were fewer people to beat. But still, it was a struggle, I finished in 48:40. While that was around my goal time, I got roundly beat by the other college students. And that's when I decided I shouldn't run with such young people again. On a brighter note, I had the most delicious peanut butter and jelly sandwich after that race.

Internal monologue:

This is the most convoluted race loop I've ever seen. I'm going to get this wrong.

Dang, I just flattened a course marker, why are they so small?

Dang, I just got passed again!

I wish I was wearing fewer layers, it started cold, but its hot.

Why did I wear so much clothing? It is ridiculous to run with my hat and gloves in hand.

It sure has been a while since I pooped, my tummy feels unpleasant.

April 26, 2010: After that humbling experience I decided to double my race distance again by running a half-marathon. This was a running goal for me (from way back in August, 2010), and a New Years Resolution, so it was pretty awesome to get it done so early in the year. However, I'm not sure I would have done it if Stephanie had not asked me to. What an awesome person she is! I finished this race in 2:04:05, a bit over my two hour goal time, but still satisfying. I kept up a 9:28 minute mile pace and began my new racing habit of finishing in the middle of my pack, placing 1818th of 4444 women in my age group. I also picked up another habit that has helped me race, I try to pass everyone in front of my wearing pink. It's pretty effective for me, but awkward now that I actually own a pink running tank. I also made a new pre-race habit: Race Muffins. My amazing mom made some carrot cake muffins the night before and I'm pretty sure they're were 7% of the reason I was able to finish (despite an intense tummy ache not related to the muffins). Note: it was super difficult to find a picture worth posting, I looked like zombie.

Internal monologue:

I haven't pooped in three days.

I haven't pooped in three days.

I haven't pooped in three days.

Oh! someone in pink- pass them!.

Oh! Finish line!

No, not finish line, another damn corner!

And another.

And another.

Oh, finish line! That's nice.

July 4, 2011: Around the 4th of July I decided I must be part of a Freedom Run. I had some intention to cross the finish line yelling "Freedom!" But there was no one there to see me finish, so I would have just creeped people out. I was pretty satisfied with this run, I got my pace mile under nine minutes (8:55.1 min), and finished in 1:22:56 (13th in my division of 48). It was on odd length, 15 k, but delightful. The course started half way up Blacksmith Fork Canyon, one of my favorite canyons ever, and finished in Hyrum. However, the organizers didn't provide a shuttle or port-a-potties on the course, and they weren't able to get the canyon closed, so I wasn't always able to run straight down the middle of the road, which is one of my favorite reasons to race. Anyways, it was a great race (despite the fact that I was roundly beaten by a woman pushing a stroller), and I was able to successfully hitch hike back to my truck (but what an awkward ride that was). I perfected my pre-race muffin routine here, making blueberry muffins the night before, unfortunately I dropped my cell phone in the sink cleaning the muffin dishes, and there was much mourning and confusion.

Internal monologue:

There's got to be an port-a-pottie on the course. There has to be.

What a pretty canyon this is.
Why aren't there more trees.

I need to pee, I'll do it off the side of the road, but I'd like to hide my butt.

Oh, that hill looks well hidden from view.

August 12, 2011: After a vacation plan fell through I ended up being able to participate in my first trail race and first relay race all at the same time. It was the R-Scape trail relay and all the event signage said "Run Dirty" which I thought was fun, and the course was on the Mt. Ogden trail system, where I learned to hike. It was an 18-hour relay, with six mile legs and it may have been one of the hardest races I've participated in, but it was super cool. There was a 500 ft/~1mile hill climb in the first half that was soul-crushing, but it was followed by one of the funnest, sandiest downhill sections ever, much fun. I ran my first leg at 6:00 pm, and it was really dang hot, I preferred the other 2nd and 3rd laps that I ran at midnight and 6 am. Getting done with the hill climb and seeing the lights of the Ogden area and running in the moonlight was pretty dang cool. Turns out trail running is hard, too hard for the FiveFingers, I ended up busting them and one of my toes, but I learned two important lessons: 1) minimalist shoes are no good for trails, 2) check headlamp batteries before a night-time race. I've got no picture from this event, but I do have a picture of the only other time I tried trail running in my FiveFingers, oh what fun that was.

Internal monologue:

Oh these rocks hurt.

Look at all these high school runners passing me.

Man, this hill sucks, there's got to be a thousand vertical feet here.

Oh pretty, I've been hiking here.

Is that a rock or a shadow? Should I leap or not.

Rock.

September 17, 2011: After the Top of Utah half marathon filled up before I could sign up, I figured I may as well run the marathon. Perhaps not the best reason to sign up for a 26 mile race, but it worked out pretty well. Running to catch the shuttle bus to the start line at 5:30 am I learned that muffins are the perfect size for running and eating; and that you've got to start running pretty early to finish 26 miles at a decent hour. The first 13 miles were actually quite wonderful, it had rained all night and quite heavily for the first 10 miles, but that kept the temps very nice. My extra layers all got soggy, but there were boxes to drop off clothing throughout the race, and my shoes eventually dried (my toes never un-pruned though). Unfortunately, around mile 13 my knee started feeling tight, so I stopped and asked for some pain reliever from the first aid station, not knowing that none of the first aid stations were allowed to give out such medicine. It only took me two stations to figure that out, the second one offered to spray my leg with BioFreeze, but I was wearing tights and didn't think it was appropriate to pull down my pants along the race. The next nine miles were miserable because my IT band was causing me pain (according to Runner's World's diagnosis); this made it pretty painful to run, but actually worse to walk. To keep going I developed a walk/run strategy: run 1-2 miles, walk for 300 paces. And that got me to the finish line in 4:30:23, 23 seconds off of my 4:30 goal (and exactly in the middle of my division, 55th of 109 finishers)! 10:19 minute miles aren't bad, and they were much faster during the first half (also made my secondary goal to not get injured, take that you nay-sayers!).

I heard and saw a lot of encouraging things along the way, including signs that said "Your feet hurt because you're kicking so much ass!", "You don't need your toenails" and "You can do hard things!" There was also a woman who told me I had pretty hair while I was feeling my most miserable, and a guy who said there were ice cream sandwiches at the finish line (that last on almost gave me a second wind). Finishing was great, Brent was there to see it and there were ice cream sandwiches and a couple friends who had finished before. All in all a good event, then I waddled home and could barely move the rest of the weekend. Everything is pretty good now, I know I can finish a marathon and the only lasting impact is my black toenail, I think eventually it will fall off.

Internal monologue:

This canyon is gorgeous.

Cool it mama, you can go slower.

Nice, there are bathrooms every miles.

Ooh, GU is nice.

That man has to be at least 70, that's awesome!

Oh gosh, my knee feels awful.

Oh, paramedics, must get medicine.

Geez, that ibuprofen would have been easier to swallow with water.

Nibley sucks, cars to the left, cows to the right.

Almost there, no, going around more corners.

Ice cream sandwiches? That sounds amazing!

I've been trying to figure out if there are any lessons I've learned from this whole running experience, and here's my first crack at it (Warning: I just watched the latest Warren Miller movie, its the most recent "wisdom" I'm drawing on):

1) Race muffins make all the difference, I recommend carrot cake or blueberry.

2) Don't run and drink at the same time, but take a drink often. It could shave a few seconds of your time (well, my time), but I inevitably cough and look foolish. Plus I usually splash it on myself, making it appear as though I've got a severe drooling problem.

3) Keep your digestive system in good working order before the race, calculating the last time you pooped is not a fun race distraction.

4) Give props, they totally help. And the good ju-ju might help your finish time.

5) Smile at anyone with a camera, zombie runner pics are lame.

The Most Productive Week Ever!

It's been far too long since I blogged, but I'm going to work on bringing it back. Hopefully this week, because it's going to be the most productive week ever. Amongst the things I will do this week (perhaps even today) are:

• put together a near-finalized version of the manuscript I've been working on forever
• assemble a draft of a manuscript I should have been working on
• find a new location for Ramona (physical and listing)
• complete the application to the PhD program
• find place for all the electronics stuff I've got floating around my apartment
• write a sternly worded letter to a car dealership
• replace the batteries in my TV and DVD remotes and two of my clocks
• learn how to program my thermostat (and subsequently, program the thermostat)
• submit timecards
• write an interesting blog

Upcoming blog posts should include something about:

• running
• rock climbing
• cycling
• mountain biking

In short, I'm hoping to de-clutter my life. I'm always carrying around to-do list, and it rarely gets completed, and it's gotten me thinking: "Why is my life so busy." Perhaps it's genetic, my mom always has a to do list. Perhaps I just manage my time poorly. Anyways, there's no reason to be so busy, so I'm working on completing or limiting my to-do list so I can focus on things I actually want to do.

More to come....

B-A-N-A-N-A-S

I would like to briefly discuss the versatility of bananas. The bananas is awesome by itself, but there are several ways the fruit can enhance the awesomeness of other foods.

• Dehydrated Bananas (not necessarily an addition, but an enhancement nonetheless). Dehydrating bananas transforms the bananas chip to a state that draws out the amount of time it takes to eat the banana, thus enhancing the awesomeness.
• Banana and Peanut Butter Sandwiches. There are few things better than peanut butter during a long day's hike/climb. Peanut butter is often consumed in sandwich form, so why not stick a few banana chips on there? Its a flavor combination that will blow your mind and leave you ready to climb mountain peaks.
• Banana and Mt Dew. This is simple: 1) eat a banana 2) drink Mt Dew. This flavor juxtaposition will make your mouth do a happy dance.
• Banana chips + Strawberry/Raspberry jello. Quit hating on Jell-O. Jell-O is awesome, and the awesomeness is mind blowing when bananas are added. No arguments.

I think the various stages bananas go through are also awesome. Do you want something firm? Eat a green banana? Would you prefer something more flavorful, and a little squishier? Eat a spotted banana. I'm not ready to completely commit to the notion, but I'm beginning to believe that the banana is the best fruit ever!

*There's a Church of the Banana. If that isn't awesome, I don't know what is. That's where I got the picture from.

Hypochodria

So, as you may know, I am a mild hypochodriac (a diagnosis I made for myself. Mild hypochodria is characterized by continuous diagnosis of various maladies that produces worrying. What divides mild hypochondria and regular hypochondria is that I don't seek a doctor's advice about the maladies I diagnose myself with). The past few weeks have been fun, because I've found two real illnesses I could have: narcolepsy and telogen effluvium.

Narcolepsy: According to the National Heart Lung and Blood Institute, narcolepsy "is a disorder that causes periods of extreme daytime sleepiness. It may also cause muscle weakness. Rarely, people who have this disorder fall asleep suddenly...Most people who have narcolepsy also have trouble sleeping at night." I've always considered my proclivity for day-time napping to be a personal preference, even a bonus of my constitution. I love napping, I feel bad for those who are unable to nap during the day. However, the desire to nap comes at inopportune times, almost always. There are rarely days where it's ok for me to curl up and sleep in the middle of the day (that doesn't mean I abstain).

The National Institute of Neurological Disorders and Stroke goes further in describing narcolepsy as "...a neurological disorder caused by the brain's inability to regulate sleep-wake cycles normally. At various times throughout the day, people with narcolepsy experience irresistible bouts of sleep. If the urge becomes overwhelming, individuals will fall asleep for periods lasting from a few seconds (in Becka-terms: "The Nod") to several minutes." They call this "excessive daytimes sleepiness" or EDS. Damn. They have that exactly right, the irresistible urge to sleep hits me often.

I've avoided looking up the symptoms of narcolepsy until recently, in part because I didn't really want to know if I had it, and in part because I thought it was just lack of motivation to stay awake (which is silly, I've fallen asleep during a lot of lectures and movies that I thought were really interesting). There are other conditions that narcolepsy can cause, including cataplexy (sudden loss of muscle tone when you're awake), hallucinations (vivid dreams that occur while falling asleep and waking up) and sleep paralysis (which prevents you from moving or speaking while waking up). Thankfully, I don't experience much but the hallucinations (as far as I can tell), and they're actually kind of fun. I'd claim sleep paralysis for the reason I don't always answer the phone when people call me early in the morning, but that would be incorrect.

These symptoms occur because people with narcolepsy fall into REM sleep quickly and wake up directly from it. This seems an apt description of what my mom calls "The Death Spiral." Again, I've almost always seen this as a benefit, once I determine to sleep it usually happens quite quickly. Unfortunately, I have little control in determining when to Death Spiral. Waking up from REM sleep is what causes vivid dreams. This all may be caused by low levels of Hypocretin in the brain, which is the chemical that controls levels of wakefulness. However, little is known about what causes one to have lower than average levels of hypocretin.

All of this would be great to know if there were a treatment that could prevent me from falling asleep during the middle of the day. There are some behavioral modifications that could help regulate symptoms, including maintaining a regular sleep cycle and scheduling small daytime naps during times where the desire to sleep is strongest. I wonder if my future employer will be alright if I schedule a siesta into my work day (it can be an off-the-clock siesta, that's totally fair)? I'm hoping that once I finish this thesis exercise that I will be better able to regulate my sleep cycle. I guess we'll just see.

Telogen Effluvium: I just read about this disorder today, but I can definitively say that I have suffered from this condition. If you want anymore proof, just talk to my vacuum (or anyone who has ever shared a living space with me). TE is a sudden hair shedding (up to 1/2 or 3/4 of your hair) caused by sudden physical or emotional stress. It is usually noticed when handfuls of hair come out while shampooing, combing and running hands through your hair. Um, all of that has happened, almost always during periods of high emotional stress (Hello, thesis).

There is one exception to this, in my life. One day I went camping with my family and got my hair caught in a tent zipper. In an effort to be efficient with his time (maybe?) my dad cut my hair out of the tent zipper, but did not tell me. The next day, while brushing my hair, I noticed a huge chunk of hair whipping around my brush and almost burst into tears because I thought I was losing my hair (truth be told, I thought I had developed cancer, forgetting that you have to go through chemotherapy before your hair falls out). Everyone got a good laugh out of it, but I'm pretty sure the emotion stress of potentially losing all my hair caused me to actually lose quite a bit. This stress was compounded a few days later as Liz and I frantically tried to wax my hair down for senior portraits.

So, there it is. Two real disorders that I might have, and some fun facts. I'm pretty sure the internet is only serving to make me more of a hypochondriac, but I love it!

(*Explanation of photos: the first one is me pretending to sleep in my truck, because I can. The second is me experiencing extreme emotional stress, in the form of fear, as the St. George wind tried to blow me out of my truck. I feel like a post without pictures just couldn't be as fun, but I was having difficultly visually conceptualizing hypochondria, narcolepsy and telogen effluvium.)

The Ballad of Jose O'Flannigan

Until recently, I was afflicted by a fungus that was not ring worm. Beyond not being ring worm, this fungus was resistant to Lamisil. Also, it was named Jose O'Flannigan. I posted a picture of him above (yes, he's a sword and flag waving pirate fungus). We'd had an encounter last spring, but I was able to repel him with Lamisil. Then he came back this fall. My personal theory is that he hid in a sweater that didn't make it into the washer before I put it back in my closet. That was unfortunate. I let the fungus progress, because I thought I could beat it back with Lamisil again, and why would I go to the doctor unless I was really sick.

Fast forward to January. People at the climbing gym started noticing my fungus, and they started touching it. It was time to fix it. So I went to the student clinic with my fungus, where I was scraped and prodded, and given a vague "Well, that's not ringworm, go get this anti-fungal medicine" diagnosis. If I had gone in a few months ago, when I had health insurance, this wouldn't have been such a big deal. However, I am one of the uninsured masses, so I paid $53 for my generic Loprox cream and steroid. It would have been tragic if it hadn't worked. Here is the progression of my fungus over the past two weeks.

Day 1

By Day 5 if had progressed to this, much better.

And Two weeks later I have a fairly normal looking arm. (I was going to do a real progression analysis, but I lost my pictures) There's still some redness, but its smooth and un-itchy.

Now some fun facts about skin fungi from the National Institutes of Health:

• Fungi are primitive vegetables. (I find this a little suspect. Last time I took an evolutionary survey of plants, it seemed the relationship between plants and fungi was still unclear).
  • Fungi lack chlorophyll (thus the tenuous relationship), so they must absorb their nutrients through dead organic matter (go to the rain forest and see decomposer-fungi at work immediately!)
• Molds, yeasts and mushrooms are types of fungi. Mushrooms are a particularly delicious type of fungi. They can live in the air, soil, on plants and in water. THEY'RE EVERYWHERE!!!
• Fungi can be difficult to kill (I can verify this)
• There has been a significant increase in fungal infections in the last 30 years, due to both increased awareness and increased use of medications that suppress the immune system
• Fungi reproduce through spores (like aliens in some movies), which are tiny, and airborne.
• Skin fungi are usually of the Tinea genus, I have decided that's what I had. It can be contracted through skin to skin contact, contact with an infected animal or soil. It could have been an infected animal, as I did once work at a zoo.
• My dad and sister are allergic to the fungus that produces penicillin. It kind of sucks for them.

Now, go forth and disseminate the word about fungus!

My Tickled Fancy

So, fun fact, I'm not sure how to spell ticklish (that's how spellcheck said to spell it, I don't like it). Anyways, while looking through my phone for pics I found a couple of things that had made me giggle over the past few weeks, and I'm sharing them with you now. Enjoy.

I'm signed up for Google to alert me whenever something is posted on the Migratory Bird Refuge and other Bear River things. Today I was shocked to discover that BRMBR is a sign of prostate cancer (at least that what I would have thought if I had not clicked on this).

This just proves my point, fake mashed potatoes are bad for you. They're never "Best If Used By" they can only be "Better." Lame.

So, this is a double yoked egg! Imagine if it had gestated instead of been fried up for a sandwich. Can twins be born in one egg? Would they be able to fit?

So this stamp is probably supposed to be of a parade float. I thought it looked Gingerbread-Zilla!

Picture 1 of the Coolest Toilet ever. Pull up to flush urine, push down to flush a deuce. And its green because the handle has some anti-bacterial something on it.

Picture 2: the diagram. Fun fact, these pictures were from the Georgia Center in Athens, but I also found these toilets in the Smith's in Logan. Awesome.

Also from Athens, locked up condoms and pregnancy tests. I figure its probably because they don't want them to be stolen, but at first glance it seemed like a ridiculous way to dissuade people from having safe sex, and then from knowing exactly whether they're pregnant until it becomes obvious.

I really appreciate when things are labeled like this. I hate looking over the label for sneaky things like bullion and fish sauce (they really seem to hide in labels).

I thought about buying the dressing, I was having a bad day and buying comfort food at the grocery store. However, I couldn't tell exactly what type of dressing it was, and I didn't think it would go well with my Dollar Pizza and edemame.

This really tickled me the other day. Someone built this snowman up on campus. It's a little morbid, but mostly awesome.

This actually did not tickle me at all. I left my truck in the church parking lot overnight and they plowed me in! I had to go back and get my shovel and dig Gus out because his 4-wheel drive isn't working and I was surrounded by cars, so fish tailing would have been very bad. I was pretty seriously irritated. Look at how closely they plowed me in! It was deliberate! The plow man was trying to ruin my day!

Shortly after that I went down the old court house in Logan for a water users meeting and found this delightful sign in the ladies room.

One more to add to the list of silly books I walk by in the library. I don't much like catfish, I imagine their culture is lame (I, of course, am speaking of culture like the think people try to acquire or the thing about human civilizations you can study; this book is probably about farming catfish).

A nice follow up to the Jose O'Flannigan post. Out earth is moldy (or mouldy).

I want to feel bad, because I blogged instead of working on school stuff, but it's been a long week for me, I'm exhausted. I can't believe its only Wednesday.

Into the Thick of Things

Well, I've been in full on Thesis Mode for a couple weeks now, and its killing me. OK, that's an exaggeration. It's actually really exciting to be closing in on the completion of my degree. Its stressful though. I addition to trying to write up a year and a half's worth of research into two distinct ideas, I also have to stay on top of my graduate school paperwork. I learned when I graduated Weber State how much messing up your paperwork can ruin your life, so I'm hoping things will be smoother this time through.

Anyways...A few weeks ago I had the file with the latest draft of my thesis on it tell me it was corrupted (because I'm the File Whisperer). It was tragic, I lost 3 pages of work, and it totally changed the mood of the day. Because of this, I started saving my files as .doc instead of .docx (what kind of company changes their file extensions with the latest version of their program? An evil company), and then attaching that file to an email, in addition to saving them on my thumb drive and computer.

And here's the string of ridiculous emails I have to prove just how far I've gone to ensure I won't lose my file. I think the progression of screen captures really shows the progression of my insanity. Also, the ads on the side entertain me, because they're in part based on the text in your email, so there's a few for pet nail clipping and shower heads.

And yes, I did save my draft as "The The Thesis." The next, less rough draft may be labeled "The The The The Thesis." I may also start calling it "Where My Will to Live Has Gone to Stay."